Star Wars Reviews

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greetings, everyone. i’m back.. from beyond the pail~ …eh? no? oh.. al..okay then… i can’t seem to leave this movie alone, cani? there were some little bits of information i’d either forgotten about, didn’t know whereto put in the review, or didn’t find out about until after it’d been finished. so where dowe even begin with something like this? captain manzini was played by english actor, singer,and song writer, anthony newley. as much as i’d found manzini’s character to be ridiculous,y’know.. cause nothing else in the film is, newley is definitely the most seasoned actorhere. "…you think they bought it?" one of his first roles was a very prominent characterin the 1948 film adaptation of oliver twist. interestingly enough, as the artful dodger.sadly, anthony newley passed away in 1999

at the young age of 67, but he left behindquite a legacy of movie roles and music during his lifetime. he’d even worked on the scorefor the 1971 classic, willy wonka & the chocolate factory. should i feel guilty for making funof manzini, knowing the man behind him passed away? no. not at all, because i don’t thinkmake-believe is real. the other actors in this film don’t have quite as storied a filmographyas newley, let’s say. mackenzie astin made his film debut here,coming off of the tv series, the facts of life. … uh.. well.. i’ve never seen thatshow before, so i’m afraid i’ve got nothing for this. i’d better do a hard cut or somethingto get me out of this awkward situation. katie barberi wasn’t in a lot of movies either.most of her work was in telenovela, or spanish

soap opera. a real shame because she wasn’twhat i’d consider a bad actress, and she’s quite the looker, at the risk of soundinglike a creepy weirdo. oh jeez, she was really only 15 in this? god dammit, it keeps happening. many of the actors who played the garbagepail kids were also in return of the jedi, as the ewoks. when the kids put on their disguises,nat nerd also bears a striking resemblance to grandpa, uhh i mean umm.. to mr. plinkettfrom redlettermedia, who’s perhaps most famous for their in-depth star wars reviews. coincidence?yes. that’s not to say that the actors haven’tgone on to be successful though. barberi and astin are still active to this day and seemto be doing well for themselves. by contrast,

i’m some faceless guy on the internet whotalks about video games and movies that nobody cares about. who’s the real winner here? as it turns out, the garbage pail kids aren’tthe only disgusting ones with a penchant for bodily waste in this film. during the montagescene, the kids redirect sewage into a hot tub.. with the pipes in the sewer clearlypointing that out for one reason or another. the reaction from juice’s cronies is this:"brown water?" "oh no..!" "oh yes!" "ohhh yesss!" also, it should be noted that the movie’srelatively small budget shows itself in a number of ways. on one hand, it’s got a quaint,charming low-budget sensibility of "whatever

we have, use it". the "help wanted" sign onthe sweat shop’s door looks like it was painted on, but that could just be my placebo tryingto find flaws. either way, it’s entertaining. on the other hand though, you can clearlysee kevin thompson’s real arms on ali gator at numerous points during the movie. and there’sa bunch of other inconsistencies too, though they’re largely unrelated to budget and moreakin to being forgetful or not paying attention. not that i’d know anything about that, ofcourse one example is when you see juice’s underlingsget vomited on by valerie, and in a scene that follows, you can see one of them completelyclean and unfazed. here, we can see valerie spit out the ace of hearts, but in the nextscene she has a royal flush of spades. tessie

sneezes and gets popcorn all over the theater-goingnormies, twice for some reason. her popcorn bag is miraculously full after the first sneezetoo. in the review, one of the first things i mentionedwas… "…it would be nice to know just what went on behind the scenes here." as it turns out, there’s a movie in the worksright now entitled "30 years of garbage", which is a 30 year retrospective on the garbagepail kids trading cards and what they meant to those who worked on and collected’s also said to feature many of the actors from the movie. while it’s not out yet, isn’t necessarilyfocused on the movie itself, and may not be

able to explain all the strange decisionsthat led to the way the film turned out, it may shed some light on things. it looks likeit could be an interesting watch, and like i said, i’ve never owned a garbage pail kidscard in my life, but after doing a bit of research for reviewing the movie, i’ve definitelygot 30 years of garbage on my radar now. i realize, though, that i left out one prettyintegral part about the review. do i recommend this movie or not? well… i won’t try to pretend that it’s some kindof hidden gem, and even with the somewhat subtle pieces of humor every now and then,it’s not gonna be something most people will enjoyment from. at least not when it was intentionallytrying to be funny, anyhow.

while playing a bad video game is sheer, unadulteratedmisery, a bad movie can be fun to sit down and pick apart or laugh at with a group offriends. if you can find this movie for cheap, and if you have a sense of humor that maybe a little unstable like mine, it’s worth seeing. i understand some people find this movie completelywithout value, and many have ranted about it and have expressed comical reactions, withvarying degrees of sincerity. that’s all fine, but after showing this film to people, andhearing them laugh while questioning the logic of the movie’s universe, i’d say that’s entertainmentin its own right, honestly. not complete… garbage? whatever, now i’mdone for real this time.

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