well, we did it guys, we’re only 10% to a million subscribers! now, i didn’t really wanna make a video thatdoes nothing other than acknowledges this, especially considering that beyond our own human interpretation, this number doesn’t have any more significantthan literally any other number in existence. like, somebody forgot to tell anyone that during the y2k craze. i almost feel like i should have madea ‘happy 92,817’ video or some shit. "hi, welcome to my channel where i take the fun out of everything." anyway, i still do appreciate it and i figuredwhat better way to show my appreciation, than to finally get around to watching the movie that everybody andtheir grandmother has been telling me to review since its release.
everyone who really loves it, wants my thoughts on it, and everyone who doesn’t love it, wants me toreaffirm their opinions on how over-hyped it is. "i’ll just ask that yms guy, he hates everything." now that i’ve finally watched it, doi consider this film to be overrated? yes, yes and yes. do i consider it to be a bad movie? not really. i mean, overall, i wasn’t really anything special,but there were parts of it that i did really love, and parts of it that were extremely difficult to take seriously. let’s just start at the beginning.
the opening song hits, and i think it’s pretty great. although i don’t feel like the tone they’ve set upthrough the song matches the rest of the film very well, the song’s written in such a way that you can tell it’sintentionally reminiscent of earlier disney films. i like it. and i also like how they bothered to showa character that we see later in the film. they kept it relatively subtle enough, that it came off as a niceextra touch, rather than something being shoved in your face. i’m pretty glad that i chose not to watch this movie in theaters, not only because seeing a film with an audience full ofannoying children has proven to be an undesirable experience, but i feel as though i avoided some horrible glares fromparents, because i burst out laughing when i saw this part: [clip] – woo!- anna!
[canned laughter] [yms] the set-up for the film does havesome nice little extra bits of effort put into it, but the vast majority of this set-up feels likeit was just thrown together out of obligation. they’re like, "help, she accidentally frozethe inside of her sister’s head." and he’s like, [clip] i recommend we remove all magic, even memories of magic. [yms] i envy being the type of person that can watch that,without immediately hearing a voice in their heads saying "why?" so you’ve removed all of her memories ofmagic, so that her brain is no longer frozen. i mean, i’m not gonna ask for a scientific explanation or anything,but using magic to solve problems in films always feel so cheap. i mean, i get that it’s the exposition, but i feel like this part of thestory is losing a lot of opportunities to actually develop things,
and yeah, the problem exists because of magic in the first place,and i’m totally ok with them not explaining why she has powers, but it feels kinda stupid when the problem is causedby something as simple as pointing at someone, but the solution to that problem is alsousing magic, but it can never be that simple. like, if we were at a point in a story wherethe narrative wanted to wrap things up, then sure, he’d had his hand over herhead and she be fine with nothing to it, but since the narrative has different motives at this point, they’re like, "oh, we gotta… erase your memory and now yougotta keep it a secret from her, cuz you’re dangerous." it felt kinda weird that that was his first recommendation,as though it was like "yep, that’s how things work." i feel like it would have even made more sense for him to fix theproblem through magic, and then have amnesia as a by-product.
she could have forgotten everything, and they stillcould have decided to keep magic a secret from her, but then i wouldn’t have felt nearly as convenient and coincidental as, "oh, you’ve got a frozen brain? well, youjust gotta remove all memories of magic." like apparently, it could have just as easily as been "oh, you’ve got a frozen brain? well, you justgotta remove all memories of ice cream." [clip] you must learn to control it. fear will be your enemy. [yms] "yes, child. fear is your enemy. let me presentthat to you in a way that will make you scared shitless." so the next song kicks in, and i think that one’s pretty awesome too.i love music and i don’t really restrict myself to any particular genre, and i can see why the general public won’tshut up about the frozen soundtrack.
having really good song writers means almost everything interms of making your disney animated film stand the test of time. music is special, in the sense that it canjust show up in your head uninvited. like, "fuck! i’m trying to shower, and all of asudden i got a catchy song in my head!" â™ª (under the sea) â™ª it’s the songs that stick with people, andnot the story scenes that tie them together, and that explains why this film got the level of praise that it did. the musical scenes in a disney film are able to invade your brainin a way that’s not really possible for any other regular scene. like, no one washing dishes at homejust starts talking to themselves like: [clip] [triton] now, sebastian, i’m concerned about ariel.have you noticed she’s been acting peculiar lately?
– [sebastian] ooh, peculiar?- [triton] you know, moaning about, daydreaming, singing to herself. [yms] if you want your disney movie to be rememberedyou’ve gotta make sure the music is done right. the music in the princess and the frog was acceptable, but there wasnothing that would really stay in your head once you left the theater. but this time, it looks like the right people were hired, andfor the most part, they’re really managed to pull it off. with a completely different soundtrack, i highlydoubt this film would be nearly as successful, and that statement rings true for a lot of classic disney films. now unfortunately i’m rating this filmas a film, and not as a soundtrack, so whereas the story scenes that connect thesongs aren’t necessarily the most important, they’re not really scenes that i can tell myself to ignore, and itwould be nicer if they didn’t seem so rushed and underdeveloped.
because really, frozen is essentially one big music videothat to me, feels dragged down by its connecting parts. like ok, so their parents die, and then three yearslater, they’re finally allowed to see the public, but we’re not supposed to wonder who’sbeen running things this whole time? the animation ranges anywhere from goodto great, depending on what we’re seeing. the best computer-animated disney films hadperfected hair movement quite a few years back, and it’s great to see just how much time and effortwas put into making the snow particles feel realistic. so elsa finally comes of age to become the queen, and annameets this bullshitty fake stereotypical prince dude named hans, which is totally acceptable, because he’s supposed to be bullshitty,fake and stereotypical, and i’m gonna get into that more later. so anna goes up to elsa and says they’re getting married,and elsa’s like, "what the fuck? it’s been, like, not even a day."
they get into a bit of a disagreementwhere elsa’s glove get snatched off of her, and then she accidentally shoots ice at people,and they’re like, "oh shit! this is witchcraft!" she runs away and crosses the water, and apparentlyher powers can go through her shoes but not her gloves. and if i were animating this scene, i would have it so that the iceis spreading fast enough that no matter where she’s stepping, it’s always rooted on the piece behind her. because really, if you’re stepping on a small piece of icethat’s not attached to anything, you’re still gonna sink. i don’t know: when the tone of the film is clearly implying a level ofseriousness, then it helps to have a certain level of realism for me. like, if any of the shit was happening in somethinglike fantastic mr. fox or panique au village, then it would make the film funnier,because it plays on its own ridiculousness.
but when there’s a constant tone of "she’srunning for her life, and this is serious." mixed with the fact that if there are going to be any consequencesin this kids’ movie, they’re not going to be at this point in the story, the attempt at serious emotions that they’retrying to convey might work for some people, but it’s understandable that it doesn’t work for everybody. it’s not really fair to blame someone for beingunable to take most kids movies seriously, when it’s really rare that anythingserious will even happen in the film. anna decides that she needs to go after her sister,and prince hans offers to come with, but she says, [clip] i need you here, to take care of arendelle. [yms] ok, nobody’s gonna offer to come with her?
like, okay, you want prince hans to staythere, but nobody’s gonna come with her? we get back to elsa, and it’s time for her solo musical number. now, i already knew that the most popular song from thesoundtrack that people wouldn’t shut up about, was called let it go, so when this song hit the chorus, iquickly realized that this was the one, and at that moment i got seriously upset, becausethis is easily the laziest written song out of all of them. now, if you know anything about music theory, you’ll know that thisparticular chord progression has nothing to do with musical creativity, and everything to do with the laziest way to make millions of dollars. like, i get it, if it’s gonna show upanywhere, it’s going to be in a disney film, but the soundtrack had all ready proved itself so much before,
that having this one be "that one song" isnot only a low blow from the songwriters, but also a painful reminder that to the majority ofpeople on this planet, catchy equals well-written. i would love to be able to get sucked into a song thati’ve heard a million times already in different forms, but i simply just can’t be entertained by the exact samesong over, and over, and over again, until the end of time. like, if you’re going to use that chord progression, at least have the melody and rhythm writtenin such a way that doesn’t feel so recycled. because as someone who does understand music, it’s impossible to listen to this song withoutinstantly thinking of other songs during it. â™ª (let it go and firework together) â™ª
anyway, she meets up with a guy namedkristoff, who will take her up to the mountains, so she can stop this endless winter caused by her sister. they get attacked by a bunch of wolves, and we get thiscomical action scene, and i think it worked out pretty decently. if it didn’t have this light-hearted comedy intertwined with this scene, then it would suffer from the exactsame problems i was mentioning earlier. as someone who finds difficulty in watching a kids’ movie,and taking the completely serious scenes seriously. it means everything to the experience when we see clues thatyou’re not supposed to take the scene completely seriously. [clip] but i just paid it off. [yms] now, in kids’ movies, typically when wehave an animated animal sidekick that can’t talk,
the animators aim to make them as cuteas possible for the sake of comic relief, and apparently, the only way to do that is to make them act like dogs. apparently i’m the only person on the entireplanet that will ever be bothered by this, but hopefully, now that i’ve mentioned it, thenext time it inevitably happens, you’ll be like, "hey, wait. maybe this is a really cheap clichã©." we get introduced to olaf the snowman,and i appreciate that they added in this line: [clip] how does this work? ow! [yms] it gives us the impression that the writerscompletely understand how little sense it makes, and they’re using it as part of the joke.
the posters on this film gave me the impression thatolaf was going to be constantly loud and obnoxious, so i’m glad that his humor stayed quiet andquirky, rather than yelling the whole time, because although i would love to find his scenesfunny, they’re just not my brand of humor. there have been kids movies in the past that were pretty okup until the obligatory comic relief characters were added, but then they’re so fucking obnoxious, thatit makes the rest of the film unwatchable. i’m glad to say that olaf, despite being pretty goofy, was notso needlessly obnoxious that it made frozen unwatchable, but i kinda wish they didn’t feel soobligated to give him his own song. because not only is that not all that great, but pretty much everysong up until this point felt as though it were moving the story along, whereas this one feels like kind of a waste oftime that does nothing but interrupt the story.
she finds her sister and tries to convince her to turneverything back, but she’s like, "i can’t. i don’t even know how." she accidentally freezers her in the chest, andthen spawns a giant snowman to kick them out. they accidentally piss the snowman off,and now he’s, like, actually dangerous. – they need to go down the cliffs, so kristoff’s like,- [clip] i’m digging a snow anchor. [yms] and apparently that’s a real thing. we see anna and kristoff interact, andthey have a very watchable chemistry. and as someone who hasn’t been living under a rock the past year, i already knew that mr. prince charming back athome was gonna turn out to be quite the slime bag. and although i do feel as though these two characters’chemistries work together very well for a film,
i found myself kinda disappointed by the fact that he was there at all. like, when people were freaking out about this supposed twistthat prince charming turns out to be kind of a douche, i was going into this movie kinda expecting it to be atwist, and not the most obvious thing in the fucking world. like, they already made sure to double down thatit’s a horrible idea to marry someone you just met, and when i watched their intentionallycheesy musical scene at the beginning, i was impressed with the story forwhere i thought it was going to go. by the way that people were raving about it,i was expecting that by the end of the film, she would learn that her happiness doesn’tneed to be dependent on another person, but then it becomes clear that she’s gonna fall for this guy by the end of the film.
so yep, you’re still incomplete without a man, apparently. that’s cool. so, mr. douchey prince goes to fuck with queen elsa, and this is about as tense as you can make a fight scene in a kidsmovie, where you know that there are no real consequences. like obviously, nobody’s gonna die in the scene, but the amount of sharp objects that are disturbinglyclose to people’s faces provides some legitimate tension. they then capture her, and lock her up in the town. so, anna finds out that since she got frozen in the heart, shewill freeze to death if she does not find an act of true love. so she goes back to the town, whereher douchey prince charming is waiting, and he’s like, "psych! i’m not gonna kiss you to saveyour life, because it actually benefits me if you die."
he locks her in the room, and leaves her alive, andthen tells everybody else that she’s already dead. like apparently, this guy with no knowledge of magic or anything, supposedly has a flawless understanding of what her shelf life isat this point. kind of a risky decision to leave her alive like that. elsa breaks free, and then kristoff is like,"oh, something’s going down, i’d better go." anna then also escapes, and then decides that sheneeds to find kristoff to get the true love magic. she sees that her sister is about tobe brutally murdered by this douche, and her frozen heart completely freezes her at the exactmoment where she’s able to step in front of the sword, but not also die from the sword, becauseshe’s frozen, and it breaks the sword. at which point after, she directly unfreezes, because it’s like,
"oh, she did an act of true love, and puther own needs in front of someone else’s" so elsa’s like, "oh, so i… all i need to do is justuse love, and then everything will unfreeze. [clip] an act of true love will thaw a frozen heart. love with thaw. love. of course. [yms] "i’ve had this magical ability literally my entire life, and i’ve neveronce experimented using different emotions trying to control it." i for one think it would have been hilarious if there was noconveniently placed ship underneath them, and they all drowned. also, how did the ship get under the water,just by the fact that the water was frozen? like, at what point did it sink, and how did unfreezingthe water cause it to float back up? feels kinda stupid. we say goodbye to the bad guys, and everything gets prettyconveniently wrapped up, and that’s it, that’s the end of the movie.
i can already tell that some people are gonna be commenting,saying i’m judging it too harshly because it’s a kids’ movie, but not only has everyone and theirgrandmother requested that i review it anyway, but from my perspective, people are givingit too much credit because it’s a kids’ movie. to people like me, "great for a kids’ movie"does not translate to "a great movie", and neither does "a great soundtrackto a movie" translate to "a great movie". yes, its target audience is children, but i am not areview channel for children, and i am also not a child. i wouldn’t even feel slightly obligated to make this review ifchildren were the only ones that thought this was an amazing film. it’s not my intention to piss everyone off, but i fail tosee why i should be giving certain movies extra credit. if you’re telling me that i should ignore any issuesi have with it, because it’s intended for children,
does that imply that you like every single kids’ movie ever made? like if someone went up to you, and talked abouthow shitty food fight was, you would still say. "no, it’s intended for children. you’re justsupposed to ignore anything you don’t like." it seems that everyone draw the line somewhere, so please do notact as though the film’s target audience exempts it from criticism. if the issues that are riddled within most kids’ movies arepresent in the same films that i would call 9 or 10 out of 10, then please feel free to call me out on being a hypocrite, but otherwise, i at least try to remain consistent, and hopefullyyou can understand why this doesn’t necessarily appeal to me. you’re not wrong for enjoying it and i’m not wrong for disliking it. if i had to give it a number, i would probably give it a 6 out of 10,and hopefully, everyone here can try their best to be okay with that.
there, i did it, i gave my thoughts on frozen, i hopeyou’re happy, happy, [mumbling], 100,000. thank you! subtitles by jorwat